Listening to Succeed

There is a tremendous amount of information available about listening in personal relationships, but this post is primarily focused on the listening skills needed for a manager.  We will start with the basic questions of why we listen and expand to obstacles to effective listening and the best listening behaviors.  One of the primary differentiators between the most effective managers and the least effective is their ability to listen. Depending on the study being quoted, we remember a dismal 25-50% of what we hear.  Make sure the 25% of what you remember are the important points.

Image sources: ehow.com, livestrong.com

Why do we listen?

1. To obtain information. 
2. To understand. 
3. To learn.
4. For enjoyment. 

Why are good listening skills important to a manager?

1. Saves time.
2. Can keep the manager from making mistakes.
3. Employees will talk to a manager that listens.

When does a manager need to exhibit good listening skills?

1. Counseling
1. Evaluations
2. Career development discussions
3. Coaching
2. Getting improvement suggestions
3. Investigating a disciplinary event
4. Giving or receiving a task - to make sure requirements are understood exactly
5. Meetings – A person can only have influence if they are “present”, and are carefully following the discussion at a meeting. The person who pays the closest attention in a meeting will be in the best position to shape the decisions made and outcome of the meeting. Those that are in the room, but not “present” will just have to go along with the decisions made.
6. Negotiations – The key to a successful negotiation is knowing what is important to the other side. Sometimes what is important to one side is superfluous to the other side, but can be traded for what is wanted. This means listening very carefully.
7. Selling – Hearing what the customer wants, or more importantly what they will pay a premium to get.
8. Meeting with customers/suppliers – Listening carefully will win business and higher prices with customers and better service and lower prices with suppliers.

What are some obstacles to effective listening?

1. Doing something else while the other person is talking – reading emails, answering a ringing phone.
2. Distractions
1. Noise – background noise that makes it difficult to hear what is being said.
2. Other conversations – dividing attention between more than one speaker is usually not possible.
3. Physical environment – temperature, air quality, not enough space, etc.
4. Discomfort of listener
1. listener is ill
2. Hungry
3. Need to use restroom
5. Inability to stay quiet – Some people just need to talk to hear themselves .
6. Not interested in topic
7. Lack of understanding of jargon used - medical, legal, indusrty terms.
8. Selective listening  - to only those things that the listener agrees with, or has interest.
9. Hearing what you want to hear - instead of what the person is saying.
10. Prejudice or bias
11. Being preoccupied with accents or speaker’s ability to communicate
12. Listener formulating their response instead of listening to the whole message.
13. Lack of attention span
14. Listener’s worry, fear, anger, or preoccupation with other problems

What are some good listening behaviors?

1. Practice, Practice, Practice – Not everyone is born with good listening skills, but every manager can get better applying the things learned in this post and practicing them.
2. Show respect for the speaker
3. Stop talking – Learning only happens when listening.
4. Look and act interested
1. Nod head
2. Make comprehension noises - uh hoh, right, I see, etc.
3. Lean towards speaker
4. Maintain eye contact – This doesn’t mean to literally stare into the eyes of the speaker. Most people actually look at the mouth of the speaker, which is better for the listener and less distracting to the speaker.
5. Don’t interrupt - obviously there are times when an interruption is appropriate, but the point here is to allow the speaker to finish their thought before barging in. At an appropriate pause in the conversation, asking clarifying questions is OK.
6. Remove distractions – background noise, etc.
7. Be patient - the listener will have ample opportunity to rebut, or make a counter point.
8. Hold your temper or opinions - especially if the speaker isn't even talking about you personally.
9. Notice body language - Body language link
10. Use positive non-verbal communication skills – body language that shows interest and not defensiveness.
11. Avoid emotional involvement -when too emotionally involved, a listener tends to hear what they want to hear-not what is actually being said. Stay objective and open-minded.
12. Listen to understand, not just hear -.get the speaker’s real message.
13. Repeat what was said in a way that shows understanding - not just memory.
14. Ask questions for clarification and to show understanding
15. Pay attention to what is not being said – recognizing that a speaker may leave out certain details on purpose can sometimes help the listener hear the “real story”.
16. Focus on content, not delivery. Message, not messenger.
17. Refrain from side conversations when listening in a group setting.
18. Manage the physical environment - temperature, noise, proximity to others
19. Take notes - if appropriate to the situation
20. Make sure there is enough time to effectively listen - or reschedule to a better time.
21. Don’t put words in the speaker’s mouth.

What are the consequences of poor listening skills?

1. Only getting part of the information
2. Making bad decisions
3. Missed opportunities
4. Making the wrong personnel decisions (not promoting or hiring the best person)
5. Wasting time
6. Getting the wrong message
7. Taking wrong, or no action
8. Frustration for the speaker and the listener
9. Poor Morale
10. Loss of credibility for the manager
11. People won’t talk to you
12. Cost to the company financially
13. Arguments