Cliche #8 - Tell yourself the Truth

Frank's Management Cliche #8

"You can lie to other people, but never lie to yourself"



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Explanation

I am not advocating lying to anyone, but most importantly, don't lie to yourself.  I'm mainly talking about the big things here, not where you will spend the weekend.  The lies I'm talking about are about the things you are putting off to another day, when in reality you know in your heart you will never get around to doing them.  here are some examples:

I'm going to work for myself someday.
I'm going to graduate school, but I need to make some money first.
I'm going to move to San Francisco and get a job someday.
I know I need braces, and I'll get them someday, but not now.
I'm definitely going to get back in shape as soon as I have a little more time.
I'll spend more time with the kids after I get my career on track.
I'm going to learn how to invest in stocks and manage my own money.
I'm going to write a book.

This is not a call to action.  Just a call to be honest with yourself.  When you say these things to other people, they already know, probably better than you do, if you will ever do them.  Try asking someone if they think you'll actually start your own business someday, or that you'll take the time to get in shape.  They probably won't be totally honest with you, but you'll be able to see by their reaction to your question whether they think there is a 10% , or a 90% chance you'll do it.

There are lots of people that when they make a promise, they always keep it.  But that only applies to promises they make to other people.  Promises we make to ourselves are constantly being broken, or pushed further down the road.   Here is a small one I made to myself that I still get a chuckle from when I think about it.  When I was first starting my career, I didn't like the commute I had.  I figured out that if I wanted to get someone to drive me to work and back, it would cost me about $18,000 per year.  So I told myself that as soon as my salary increased by $18,000, I would hire someone to drive me to work.  Well, I never did it and I know I never will.

One way to get better at this is to link things you know you'll do with things you think you might not do.  For instance:  Tell yourself that you will not buy a house until you have gotten your graduate degree, or at least enrolled.  Tell yourself, and others, that you won't go on vacation until you get back in shape.  You'll be able to tell by your reaction to the link how serious you are about what you are telling yourself.  If you are really hesitant to make the link, then you are probably lying to yourself.